This week marks my second work trip on my new job and the second time I’ve been away from my family since the pandemic. I survived the first trip but wanted to feel better this time around. No anxiety, no tears, no counting down the seconds until I’m safely back in our little family cocoon. This time, I put some thought into it and decided I could bear the time away and perhaps surprise myself by having a reasonably good time. And I did! Here’s how I did it for those dreading those work trips away:

• Know They Got This: Respect that your family is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. This might be a hard one for us working parents who think our family’s world falls apart if we don’t manage ever aspect. However, daily instructions on how to clothe themselves and feed the cat is unnecessary. You’ve done a good job selecting a competent spouse or finding a competent caretaker while you’re away, and a good job raising a self-sufficient, independent child. Repeat that until you believe it.

• Do Something Silly: This is generally my advice for most situations. Here, find a small inside way of reminding each other you care and somehow involving them in the trip. This time I brought along a small plush banana my son fondly named Jerry. Jerry managed to see quite a bit of Toronto and share his experiences with those back home. Not sure they appreciated Jerry’s adventures, but it sure cheered me up.

• Let Them Miss You: I kept in contact but didn’t tie either of us down to marathon scheduled calls. I still checked in and could be reached at any time but didn’t force mournful Facetime chats. I’d prefer my family was off having a bike ride than rushing home for a predetermined, schedule check in.

• Give Yourself Permission: You will likely be with other interesting adults. Give yourself permission to enjoy their company! Have great conversations over a glass of wine. And how often do you get a clean room and TV all to yourself?

• Visualize the Reunion: I didn’t spend time thinking about how much I missed my family or what I was missing out on. If a bit of loneliness or sadness started to creep in, I thought about that airport hug I was going to get instead.

I hope that helps the next time you’re away. While I would walk 100 miles for my family, I’ll still enjoy a few moments before I begin that journey back to them.