My husband and I fold towels differently. I noticed this when we first started living together 20 years ago and it drove me crazy. At the time, I viewed his folded stack of towels as a sloppy, subpar version of my neat, tidy packages.  My solution to this unbearable issue was to take over the task of laundry completely. Not a big deal, right?

Recently I was privileged to attend a webinar by Bena Stock on perfectionism. Bena explained that lawyers often exhibit perfectionist tendencies that can lead to issues with time management and procrastination. I began watching the webinar convinced that I couldn’t be a perfectionist since I don’t generally procrastinate and manage my time well. However, I quickly began reflecting on whether my thinking and approach (numerous examples in addition to the one shared above) are harming my well-being and perhaps my professional and personal relationships.

Do I place exceptionally high standards on myself? Yes. Do I often take over duties because I don’t believe others will do it correctly? Yes. Do I then feel resentful that I take on too much and no one helps me? Again yes. These are tell-tale perfectionist characteristics.

Bena stressed that to overcome the harmful impact of perfectionism, adopt instead the pursuit of excellence. Similar advice is contained in the Alberta Lawyers’ Assistance Society’s article, Excellent is Good Enough, that outlines several negative consequences of perfectionism including:

Perfectionism involves continuing past excellence but may not add significant value while increasing psychological risk. One reason for this is that the pursuit of perfection tires perfectionists who are then too exhausted to seek out resources which support sustainable performance and well-being. The researchers state that the “pursuit of high standards can be seen as a good thing but pushing this tendency beyond the point of optimal returns may turn a good thing into a potentially deleterious one.”

Questions to ask yourself to determine if you have perfectionist tendencies include:

1. Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?
2. Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry while trying to meet my standards?
3. Have I been told that my standards are too high?
4. Do my standards get in my own way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?

The article also references research that posits we should be striving for excellence rather than perfection:

So, what does research tell us about perfectionism? To reduce it to its simplest finding, excellencism is a better strategy then perfectionism both in terms of work product and in terms of well-being.

Professor Gaudreau and his co-authors outline many dimensions of perfectionism which they define as having excessively high and often unrealistic standards along with overly critical self-evaluation. They also define “excellencism” as a “tendency to aim and strive toward very high yet attainable standards in an effortful, engaged, and determined yet flexible manner.”
 
Both perfectionism and excellencism involve setting high standards, but excellence strivers know when they have achieved their goal while perfectionists may recognize having attained excellence but continue to push further.

Bena’s webinar, Well-Being in the Legal Profession: Concrete Strategies for Positive Change (Perfectionism), is available for free on the Law Society of Saskatchewan website. Check it out – even if you don’ t think you’re a perfectionist. If you’re a lawyer, you likely lean that way. If you won’t let your husband fold the towels, you definitely are.