I woke up bone-tired yesterday. I’m usually a morning person but I just wanted to stay under the covers. The extreme cold hitting the Prairies this week didn’t help. The old me would have just pushed through despite my body telling my I might need a break.  I would have told myself I can rest on the weekend or wait until my holidays in February.

But not yesterday. I thought about what really needed to be done at work and home, not just what I expected of myself. Not surprisingly, many of my self-imposed tasks could wait or I could ask for help from others. Once I realized I could give myself a break, my entire mood shifted. I enthusiastically hopped out of bed and was able to complete what needed be done in just a few hours. I spent the rest of the day just hanging out with myself, napping and making an incredible pot of chili. It was a wonderfully restorative surprise break on a Thursday.

One of the benefits of dealing with a chronic illness is I’ve learned to listen to my body and not just try to make myself ‘a priority’ but ‘the priority’ sometimes. While every inch of me feels selfish,  I work hard to fight feelings of guilt. Coping Strategies and Lifestyle: The Pressure to Sacrifice Self-Care in the Legal Profession, a recent webinar presented by the CBA, helped and I highly recommend it for those who struggle putting themselves first. The webinar provides tips for “how the legal profession can encourage unhealthy coping strategies and a ‘running on empty’ mentally – regardless of the risks”. The webinar is free for CBA members.  As noted in the webinar description:

For many in the legal profession, the idea of healthy living is an aspiration and not a reality. The stress of work, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, and a poor diet can lead to burnout and the inability to function at the office.

Some lawyers have developed eating disorders, while others have turned to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with the day-to-day stress of the profession – running the risk of addiction issues, disciplinary actions, and disbarment.

My two main tips for finding the time to make yourself ‘the priority’ are:

1. Be honest with yourself about what needs to be done. Ask is there a firm deadline or have I created a self-imposed deadline? Will there be serious repercussions if it sits a day, a week or even longer? Like I mentioned above, when evaluating my to do list, I found many of the tasks could be deferred.
2. Evaluate what ‘needs’ to be done by you. Can some tasks be done by others? Again, when I honestly evaluated my to do list, I realized some might be better suited for two recent hires. So I asked for help. Believe me, that is still a hard one. If you also struggle with asking for help, the article Why Lawyers Fear Asking for Help by Bena Stock is a useful read.

You can make yourself ‘the priority’ on occasion. Learn to listen to your body and most importantly, learn to be your own best friend without guilt. Both your work and personal life will benefit from a bit of regular self care.